Where to begin. These last few weeks have been both a whirlwind and a rollercoaster. I feel like I've been here for months, when in reality, it has only been 13 days. I can say without a doubt, that these last 13 days have blessed me and challenged me beyond measure... and in ways I never expected. They've forced me out of my comfort zone and into a place where I cannot help but trust the Lord with the day to day moments of life. The things that used to terrify me most are now simply "drops in the bucket" of my life.
- Leaving home? Check.
- Food Sickness? Check.
- Moments of anxiety and isolation? Check.
- Epically failing my placement exam? Check.
- Feeling like I am not good/smart/cultured/flexible enough to be here? Check.
- Wondering regularly why I came to Chile in the first place? Check.
- Having to express myself in a language that is not my own? (yet) Check.
What's amazing is this: As I face these daily fears, they transform into moments of immense blessing. They may initially appear as "curses", but as I surrender them to the hands of the Lord, they turn into blessings that overflow over me, reminding me of His mercy and grace.
Where I feared lonliness, the Lord has brought me life-giving friendships.
Where I feared cultural and language boundaries, He has blessed me with conversations and laughter with my familia Chilena.
Where I feared spiritual emptiness, the Lord has blessed me continuously with his word, La Iglesia Cristiana Unión, friends and family who pour truth into me, and his Spirit.
HE has filled me up amidst moments of frustration, tears, laugher, and pure awkward gringa encounters with a culture than I'm learning to love.
HE has been my rest in days full of orientations, meetings, tours, physical weakness, fast paced Chilean birthday parties where 5 conversations are going on in Spanish at once, confusing (at first) transportation, literal exhaustion, and doubts mixed with fears.
Each day is full of its own beautiful new discoveries and challenges that press me into the Lord, my rock. I'm learning to cherish each challenge, rather than wish it away. I'm learning to listen to the voice of the Lord. I'm learning humility in the immensely humbling and "slow" (in terms of my desire for instant gratification) process of learning Spanish. I'm beginning to see that God is in control of this process, NOT ME.
Day by day I am learning to adapt and appreciate my new Chilean way of life. I'm by no means perfect, but I am learning and practicing boldness unlike ever before, and what an exhilarating gift it is.
BOLD MOMENTS:
- Learning public transportation. I love the metro... and I'm learning to love colectivos (kind of like carpool taxis) and the micro. (the bus)
-Letting the voices of my host family, friends, and those who know and love me BEST, overpower the voices that try and tell me I don't belong here. That my Spanish is now advanced enough. That I'm only as good as my test grade, not my conversations. Faith + truth are greater than fear + lies.
- Speaking Spanish even when I am hesitant to make mistakes... so basically coming to terms with my mistakes.
- Being present during the sweet (slightly overwhelming) moments, where everyone speaks in Spanish all at once, and then ask me, "Entiendes?" (Do you understand?)... rather than hiding in my room.
- Living life consistently, that points to my love for the Lord, rather than conforms to the patterns of the world.
THINGS I'M LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT:
-Coffee shops... or even simply ground coffee. Ground coffee is a luxury here... so I'm becoming close friends with 'Nescafe'... which in the words of my Program Director "no es cafe."
-Flushing toilet paper. You learn to get used to it.
-FREE public bathrooms. Adios to those days.
-Walking barefoot in the house. Hola slippers.
-Constant data on my phone + communication with home.
-A car. I walk basically everywhere, which balances the regular bread consumption.
-USD. The smallest chilean bill is 1,000 pesos... the exchange process is a little complicated, but I'm learning!
A FEW THINGS I LOVE (or am learning to love):
- EMPANADAS. Theres a place by the beach that sells sweet empanadas that I particularly love. (These are not hard to love. I will with no doubt miss these when I come home in June.)
-Family meals where we sit and chat for a while. Favorite topics include: everything. From history to travel to religion to philosophy to random family members I've never met. You name it, it probably comes up in conversation during almuerzo or "once".
-The cerros (hills) that make me sweat, but sure do look pretty from afar with all their colorful houses lining the horizon. (And give me an excuse to eat more bread.)
-Listening to LISTEN, not to speak.
-Playing "pinto" (tag) and "escondite" (hide and seek) with my 3 year old host prima.
-Getting out of my comfort zone and seeing my growth, even in the last 13 days.
-The COLD pacific ocean water.
Muchas gracias a todos for your prayers and encouragement during these past 13 days, and even before. Bridges are certainly being made for gospel conversations, and I am so thankful for the grace and words God is giving me daily. I'll leave you with a few pictures and a Spanish-Worship song that has been filling my heart since I first heard it last Friday. A few specific prayer requests will be coming to your emails very soon, so if you haven't subscribed, please leave me with your email! Chao!
Besos y Bendiciones,
Lydita, The Grace Filled Gringa