“He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24
It’s a sunny day in Recreo, and I’m just sitting here sipping on a homemade dirty chai latte, thinking about how good GRACIOUS my Savior is. It has been about a month since I last blogged, as I’ve realized the best way for me to process through this journey is through verbal, life giving, conversations. However, as I’ve hit the midway mark in my time here in Chile, I’ve felt the urge to share how I’ve seen God’s strength and provision in my weakness. The process of seeing His fingerprint has been a slow but steady process, but His timing has been best, and day by day I’ve been learning to cling to Him even more.
Welcome to the out-pouring out of my gringa heart. Grab a cafecito or técito and join me… this could take a while. This is what we adopted Chileans call “sobre mesa”.
Since we last joined together at this hypothetical table, so much has happened. There has not been a day where God has not been working in my heart. He has been continually refining me and making me more into His image. Many days have felt like internal battles to live for Christ rather than for self, and ultimately the world.
There have been days where I have sat in front of my house close to tears, broken- hearted over the fact that dear friends do not know the One who is my refuge and peace.
There have been days where I have sat emotionless in my cold room, pleading with God for an opportunity to feel. To feel in awe of Him. To feel sadness. To feel joy.
There have been days where I have felt alone and dis-unified among the body of Christ.
There have been days where I have been frustrated. Where I have walked around the city for 2 hours, looking for the post office and a coffee shop.
There have been days where I have felt misunderstood, where it seems like no one understands the deep parts of me. My passions. My struggles. My weakness.
There have been days where I have fought the battle of comparison, wondering why my Spanish is not a clean and clear as my friends. Wondering if I am living a life of complete obedience to the mission God has called me to here, and globally.
There have been days where all I’ve wanted is to be home. There have been days where I never want to leave.
This list only taps the surface at the internal struggle I’ve found myself facing. But if you’ve made it this far, I’m here to tell you there is hope. Christ has been my sustainer, my sword, my shield, my provider, my Father, my rock and my Salvation in every single moment. When things of the flesh have let me down, He has remained the same. Every. Single. Day.
-He has reminded me that He is making all things new.
-He has reminded me that He is eternal. In His love for me. In His grace for me. In His word. In His mercy. In His character. In His justice. In all things, He is eternal.
-He has reminded me that He is indeed faithful. What Christ has called me to, He will complete. He will be glorified. He will bring people to know Him. He will use me as His vessel. I may never see the harvest, but He will use me to plant seeds and cultivate what has already been planted.
-He has reminded me that He is gracious. And as my Lord is gracious, I am also called to imitate that grace.
-He has reminded me that He is immeasurable… and in His immeasurability, He has left me in awe. He has left me in awe of the parts of Him I may never fully comprehend. He has left me in awe of the depth of His love. He has left me in awe of the way He functions… His power. His authority. His justice. His mercy. His grace. His everlasting love. His ability to surpass + transcend time and space. His ability to remain faithful, in centuries past, present and future.
-He has reminded me that He is my provider. He has equipped me with all I need to serve Him. The same Holy Spirit inside of me raised Jesus from the grave and equipped the Early Church to reach the nations with the Gospel.
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Last week, as I reached the midway mark (2 meses!!!) of my time here in Chile, I hopped on a plane to Bogota, Colombia. For 6 days, I spent time in the home of my sweet friends, the McNeill’s. As they graciously shared their time, family, friends, faith, and life with me, I found rest. Not in what they could provide, but in the way Jesus was providing for me through their hospitality. In the safety of their home, and amidst authentic friendship with Sarah I was reminded of the beauty and blessing of authentic community. As I sat and sipped a chai, cafecito, or granizado with Sarah, I was overwhelmed with joy, but more so, I was overwhelmed with encouragement.
This sweet friend took the time to share with me stories of God’s undeniable faithfulness and sovereign power in her families lives in both their time in Chiapas, Mexico and now, in Bogota, Colombia. She poured out graceful wisdom over me and reminded me of why God has me in Chile… even more, why God has me here on this earth. To know Him and to make Him known.
As we grew encouraged over understanding one another's struggles and stories of life in Latin America, I was encouraged to remember that Jesus knows my heart in these moments more than anyone on Earth ever could.
I left for Colombia feeling empty and weak, but Jesus used my sweet family en Cristo to remind me that He was still equipping me with all I needed. His power would be made great and known in the midst of my weakness. He would be the ultimate provider of my strength to serve Him. He would renew my Soul.
As I hopped back on a plane for Chile, I felt truly sad to leave. I cried for the first time in a very long time- bittersweet tears. I was not ready to leave a place and a people that felt like home, but I was simultaneously excited and renewed, ready to go back, love, and serve the people God had placed in my life here to demonstrate and share who HE is and what HE has done.
In my carry-on, I somehow managed to smuggle back 79 Easter eggs, and as soon as I got home- after taking a long nap of course… because all night flights are HARD- I hit the ground running.
This Thursday night, I sat down with my fellow teammates and sisters in Christ- Jess, Shannon, and Pame- and we planned an activity using these eggs, to reach the children we serve each Friday in the children’s home, with la Buena Noticia (The Good News). Over chai tea and prayer, my excitement grew for these children who have faced earthly abandonment to know who their true Father is… to hear the Gospel, maybe even for the first time.
As Friday came, I walked through spiritual warfare all day long. I can only describe this feeling as a friction and war within my mind and soul. I felt incredibly weak, and incredibly disconnected from Jess and Shannon. As we rode the micro to the home, and then sat in the park before heading in, all I could do was pray for God to take this away. I pleaded with God to give me a pure, gracious, humbled heart… and in a way he did. Humility was certainly present as I stumbled through my Spanish, sharing the story of the Gospel- from creation to the resurrection- with the children and tias. A war for souls was certainly going on, and the evil one was not having it. I fought the whole time not to compare myself to my friends, whose words seemed to flow freely from their lips.
But where I felt weakest, Christ was sovereign and stronger.
The children were engaged in the Gospel story. They were reminded of who He is and of His deep love. Even in broken words, God spoke through us. Even amidst language barriers, fear and spiritual warfare, the Lord provided. I was humbled, yet as I reflect, all I see is His grace and power.
In all honesty, as we finished the story and began the Easter hunt, I felt incredibly defeated. I feared that my mix up with some words had pulled the children further away from knowing who God was… but this fearfulness in my flesh would not have the victory, because Christ had already won.
We headed back to Jess’ house, where an unexpected evening of intergenerational, multi-cultural, multi-lingual, time of fervent prayer, worship and community would take place. As we gathered with 4 Chilean women from our church, I still felt the friction in my heart, but I could not help but be full of joy as we humbled prayed and worshipped our sweet Savior and Father in heaven. These women poured out their souls to the Lord. They discussed with passion our responsibility as believers to pray fervently for those who do not know Christ. For the brokenness of this city. For strength in Christ, opportunities, and boldness to reach this city and the world with the Gospel.
It was beautiful. It was authentic, raw community. It was unlike anything I have experienced before.
As my friend Shannon began to pray, I began to cry. Jesus was lifting the burden I had carried all day.
-I wept over my deep desire for my friends and family here to know Jesus.
-I wept out of gratefulness for Christ’s power in my weakness.
-I wept in humility.
-I wept in thankfulness for the Gospel.
-I wept in remembrance that Christ was in control during the time we spent sharing the power of the Gospel with the children that evening, and because He was sovereign to reveal Himself to them amidst our broken words.
-I wept because I was incredibly encouraged and filled with joy by the community I was surrounded by in that moment.
-I wept because I am undeserving, yet Christ is full of grace and mercy. He was pouring out a reminder of His love on me.
As we finished praying we began to sing. Perfectly IMPERFECT worship, in both Spanish and English: every key, pitch, and harmony was lifted to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. A glimpse of heaven was seen around that table, as people from different nations, tongues, and generations gathered to lift up the name of Jesus.
All I could be was joyful and humbled that Christ would allow me to experience this glimpse of Heaven and lift up His name. I’ll never forget this moment, perfectly orchestrated by Jesus, to bring Himself the ultimate glory… glory that only He deserves.
For me these past few weeks, both full of joy and internal trials, have pointed me back to the forever faithfulness of Christ. Whether I was looking to the cross and the empty grave as we celebrated Easter, or whether I was looking at the hand of God in my life here in Chile, I was reminded that His promises are the very best promises. He who calls me IS faithful. He will surely do what He says He will.
I’m resting in the power of the resurrection today + everyday:
“Not one of the good promises that the Lord had made to the House of Israel had failed: all came to pass.” (Joshua 21:45)
“Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely. And may your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will SURELY do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
Will you rest with me? Will you praise Jesus with me amidst the season He has you in? Will you follow Him fervently and await eternity with expectation? Will you let Him be your forever Savior, King, and Father?
Praising Jesus with you today, friend. Muchas gracias for being a part of my community and journey.
(I've shared my "Alabanza" playlist with you below. I couldn't just share one song... so why not share them all? ;) )
Hija del Rey,
Lydita
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Bendiciones de las semanas pasadas:
